Offending from the Victim Position: Why Feeling Wronged Can Make You Act Worse

This episode looks at what happens when hurt becomes a relational stance—when a legitimate frustration starts giving us permission to lecture, control, withdraw, retaliate, or keep pushing long after the original problem has been addressed. Drawing from Terry Real and Pia Mellody, I explore offending from the victim position, resentment, dysfunctional relational stances, and the ways childhood experiences can shape how we handle conflict, power, closeness, and frustration in adult relationships.

We also get into relational trauma, the Trauma Grid, false empowerment, grandiosity, boundaries, and the family patterns we absorb even when we spend years telling ourselves we will never become like the people who raised us. The goal is to recognize the sequence: what happened, what meaning you gave it, what your reaction then felt entitled to do, and what the person on the receiving end actually experienced. Understanding where a pattern came from matters. Taking responsibility for what you do with it now is where the work begins.

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Want to work together? I see psychotherapy clients in Florida:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/brian-granneman-naples-fl/1153470

I also offer accountability, coaching, and sober companion services. Send an email: brian@naplesintegratedrecovery.com